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It was a flurry of activity this morning as Hanna fresh from her attempts to run a taxi driver over yesterday in her monster truck, had yet another idiot to share with us and we all gathered around the campfire to share the mirth… or the metaphorical virtual campfire as it were. It seems she’s contributing to the world’s single use plastic problem with her disposable resin mermaid tails…

She’s also been asked to provide a quotation for a new customer – and is considering a bit of Dickens, or perhaps a bit of Helen Fielding (West Yorkshire Lass, don’t you know?), “Christ, is that blue soup?”

Bartholemew was very much in demand this morning with coffee flasks being despatched around the country. The Northern run involved a return leg with a box of mint green tea towards West Yorkshire. The poor fella has never been so busy and Jo is now considering investing in a second pigeon.

Adele managed not to eat him this time and sent Barty back to Jo’s with the last of the Caffeinated Savage to keep the theme going.

Anne was back to using Darren’s Chinese translation pen to proof read some Japanese ironing instructions and Cat dropped by to show off her South West Pirates outfit.

Having gotten up ridiculously early, Swearah went to Pirates class to have a nap on the mats and found her boobs most useful. Can’t say I blame her actually, as that’s what I’d do (sleep that is, not finding boobs useful). Mats arrr most definitely for sleeping on 😉

Dave has lent her last fiver to her latest case support so he can make beans on toast for breakfast and has volunteered to row us all to Amsterdam for a city break, following Swearah’s idea for a day out. Brum is booking the hotel and Hanna is packing her gas mask in preparation. Lots of yarn has been ordered for the crossing.

Brum managed to inadvertantly insult Lee, so he’s going to find a way to pay her back…

Trying not to be ungrateful for being given a Volvo, Brum was most perplexed by John’s request for bumper grommets. It was suggested that she might have some in her box of bits… Swearah reckoned ladies don’t keep those sorts of things in their bits, but turns out Brum’s bits are covered in googly eyes. Darren couldn’t look her in the eye after hearing that…. (didn’t know which ones to be fair)

Taking delivery of a mystery bag, it’s looking like bacon-wrapped fish for lunch at Brum’s cafe tomorrow…

Gretna marriage plans had to be put on hold when there weren’t enough Googly eyes left to stick the Volvo’s bumper back on…

Melly is keeping everyone is suspense with her mystery dream visitor which she’s chronicalling in her Dream Journal. I’m now starting to think she’s trying to resurrect Freddie Krueger…

Swearah continues to attract the bot accounts sliding into her DMs. We have informed Elton John… (Lexi doesn’t get it)

In sports news (Yes, I’m still doing this) Ness has been training for the North Scottish Badminton trials and has been polishing her shuttlecock, Jyoti and Clair are taking part in the Coxless pears cider making championships and Mike is teaching Lonn Semaphore…